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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Three Modes of Interrelationships


Karen Horney



By: THEODORE MILLON and
      Seth Grossman
      Carrie Millon
      Sarah Meagher
      Rowena Ramnath

Karen Horney’s descriptive eloquence is perhaps without peer, but it is difficult to sum up concisely what she regarded as the major solutions to life’s basic conflicts. Although her primary publications were written over a short period, she sometimes used different terms to represent similar conceptions.

Considering the insecurities and inevitable frustrations of life, Horney identified three broad modes of relating:
·         Moving toward others,
·         Moving against others,
·         And moving away from others.

Those who move against others are aggressive types with expansive solutions; they glorify themselves and rigidly deny weakness and inadequacy.

Those who move away from others have become alienated from life; they achieve peace, not by investing themselves in any aspiration, but by curtailing needs and wishes. By employing neurotic resignation, they go through each day as detached onlookers.

Those who move toward others, the parallel to the dependent personality in Horney’s schema, are compliant and self-effacing. They have a marked need for affection and approval, along with a willingness to forgo self-assertion. Because their self-esteem is determined by the opinions of others, they subordinate their own desires, sometimes to the point of self-accusation, helplessness, passivity, and self-belittlement. For them, love solves all problems.

References

Personality Disorders in Modern Life, second edition, 2000, 2004 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

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